Take Up My Cross

Last week we had our second Men's Conference and it was just as moving as the first. The theme verse for the night was Luke 9:23-25. This verse talks about deny ourselves and taking up our crosses for the Lord. The night culminated in an activity where we literally got to carry a cross. We prayed in small groups around a field and talked about what it is we would like to sacrifice for the Lord. The Lord really put my relationships on my heart. Ever since I became a Christian in October I have really been running away from my past lifestyle and everything that went along with it. For the most part this is a good thing. I've been pursuing the Lord and He has been changing me and sanctifying me, but I also have been running away from the relationships I had before October. I associated those relationships with my non-Christian lifestyle and stopped pursuing them. Once I met a group of amazing believers I became so comfortable in my little Christian bubble that I rarely was searching for relationships outside it. The Lord has really been convicting me of this and so I decided that this year I want to reach outside my Christian circle. I want to be able to show Christ's love to those around me in my dorm, in my classes and to those who I have been running from. I want to share my life and what the Lord has done in my life with everyone around me. It is going to be hard to relate deeply with them, but I know the Lord will place me where it is He wants me.

N.Y.C.

So  impact group took a wonderful trip to N.Y.C. last friday and it really got me thinking about the world we live in. I think that this picture of Time Square really is a good representation of how we live our lives. There is so much movement, so many lights, so much going on. We are bombarded by deadlines, urgency and distractions all day long. I look at these people and one question comes to mind...If the Lord were standing before them, would they even stop to notice? Their lives are so jam packed with the things of their lives and the distractions of the world that they are blinded to what it is truly matters. I dunno, it just breaks my heart that these people run through their days thinking they have to make the most money, gain the most power, and make it to the top. Its a lie. A lie that the forces of evil of this world want us to believe. They want us to the believe that if our lives aren't filled with these things then we have failed. We are not successful. LIES! I pray that we would all realize that the things of this world at fleeting. They are fading away. The only things that matter are eternal. We must look at our lives from an eternal perspective and live accordingly. I pray that we will not buy into the lies that the world is screaming at us.

Why I'm Here

This past week was pretty hard for me, but it is so amazing to see how the Lord works through struggles. Saturday night was probably the peak of my frustration and the source of this frustration is what we like to call "project burnout." It has kind of been building momentum throughout the project and I think it really hit people on Saturday night, which happens to be outreach night. Saturday nights have kind of been like game day for me the past couple of weeks. The night you've been training, practicing and stretching yourself all week for. I get very excited to go out sharing with the project and just see how the Lord works through our project. Leading the outreach team, I feel really blessed when I get to walk down the boardwalk and see all the people taking steps of faith. This week's outreach was geared towards sharing what it is God has done in your life through your testimony. Throughout the week we challenged people to rewrite their testimonies as a means of sharing the gospel. The thought behind this outreach was that every single person that has accepted Jesus Christ as their savior is a living testimony. Your testimony is something that no one can take away from you and it is a tool that you will always have with you. So Saturday we focused on sharing what it is Christ has done in our lives. I was really excited going into the outreach, but became very discouraged afterwards. At about 8:45 (outreach goes until 9:30) there really was no one left on the boardwalk. The majority of the project had decided to head back early. This was the first discouragement and was soon followed as we came back to the inn to hear the countless excuses as to why people didn't participate in the outreach. I was very sad and frustrated at what had happened. I was sad because I felt as if I had failed the project. As outreach director I felt that if people weren't sharing their faith it was my fault. The next couple days I really dwelt on this thought of failure, but the Lord revealed to me otherwise. He showed me that instead of celebrating and rejoicing in the steps of faith that were taken, I was dwelling on the bad. I was missing the point. The point of an outreach is for the gospel to be shared with lost. Period. Even if "the lost" is one single person. For one single person to hear the gospel is worth our time and our effort. I was focusing on the results and not the steps of faith that were taken. The Lord is so awesome and has taught me so much. It seems that when I am struggling the most, He is working on the hardest. I learned so much about ministry this week and about praising God for the good and for rejoicing in what DOES happen, rather than what could have been. I Praise the Lord for all that He has taught me here on project, it has been such a stretching summer.